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purplenightsky69:

I wanna be cuddled right now and have my back rubbed until I fall asleep.

thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis:

Cosmo tip: After finishing, say to your partner “That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”

Wanda Sex Tip #468

wanda-sex-tips:

Ask Siri to locate her g-spot.

Cosmo Sex Tip #771

misterbutthole:

When your partner enters you for the first time, scream “WHO DARES ENTER MY LAIR?” as loudly as you possibly can.

cosmo sex tip #117

ten-million-straws:

during foreplay, talk dirty to him in parseltongue

cosmo sex tip #454

icansavetheworld:

as your partner screams “i’m cumming,” you should whisper into their ear, “..to a theater near you…” and then proceed to grab a bucket of popcorn from under the bed

Wanda sex tip #488

wanda-sex-tips:

After having sex with your partner fall onto their chest and whisper in their ear, ‘stay golden ponyboy”

Cosmo Sex Tip #67

reborn-from-the-ashes:

Put your penis in, put your penis out, put your penis in and shake it all about….

COSMO SEX TIP #394

galacticwooper:

When you’re about to cum, point your penis at her and scream ‘EXPECTO PATRONUM’

Wanda Sex Tip #533

wanda-sex-tips:

If he isn’t gay, make him gay.

c.terrifictardis